The How and Why Of Paul Richard Thomas
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The Manchester Derby
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Wayne Rooney: what a cunt
How appropriate Wayne Rooney’s red card is tonight. Yet again in a big game he does fuck all and then lashes out for no reason. World class? The only thing he’s world class at is being a useless cunt.
Wayne Rooney spends £30,000 on a hair transplant
…and then he shaves it down to a number one.
What a dreadful oaf.
Wayne Rooney, a question…
Why spend all that money on a hair transplant and then shave it to a number one? Moron.
Miss hit Rooney goal
“It was one of those times you actually get goosebumps.” So says Terry Venables on the new advert for The Scum’s football section in relation to Wayne Rooney’s overhead winner against Manchester City. “Magical… Goal of the season,” he concludes. Except it wasn’t, was it, Tel? There was no turn of direction or change of pace by Shrek, like you claim, he miss hit the ball of his shin - the ball only reaching him as the defender slipped. Yet in the animated advert we don’t see the defender slip and the ball comes off Rooney’s toes, both of which are bollocks. Then again, what do you except from that pathetic, dirty, lying rag? Justice for the ninety-six.
So André Villas Boas is the new Chelsea manager after leaving FC Porto yesterday. I, personally, couldn’t be happier as I think this could trigger a disastrous next season for the London club.
Boas is very much an attack-minded manager and this is something the Chelsea players seem reluctant to do. Luiz Felipe Scolari is a similar type of manager and that didn’t turn out too well, did it? Although, to be fair, unlike the Brazilian, Boas does have a plan b when it’s needed, even if it is send on more attackers. Under Carlo Anchelotti the Londoners would attack, but only against the dross. For every 8-0 against Wigan or whoever there was a pathetic capitulation like against us, The Scum and even the likes of Wolves and Birmingham.
The mindset of their players just isn’t to attack. Fat Frank has passed it, Nicolas Anelka has become a sulk again, Didier Drogba’s malaria seems to have taken away his edge and Torres is even more useless than he was for his last eighteen months with us. The club may have unlimited money to spend but is (rumoured target) Neymar really the answer?
Having a manager who will want to attack is all well and good if the players can do it, but Chelsea’s can’t. What a shame.
Jordan Henderson, welcome to Anfield
Jordan Henderson’s imminent signing is a genuine statement of intent by Liverpool FC ahead of what promises to be a busy summer at Anfield.
It is no secret that (King) Kenny Dalglish and Damien Comolli have plenty of work to do to reshape the Reds squad this summer, and this deal would seem to fit neatly with club owners Fenway Sports Group and their long-term strategy: Sunderland Athletic’s Henderson is young and English, but most importantly talented.
Cynics will suggest that Liverpool are paying an “English premium” but they showed with Andy Carroll in January that they are willing to pay whatever it takes to land their top targets, and the speed and decisiveness with which they have secured Henderson is a hugely positive sign. How often have LFC stalled I’m buying players until preseason or even the season has begun?
And by valuing David N’Gog (above), the makeweight in the deal, at £8m, Dalglish and his team have shown that they too can drive a hard bargain. The Frenchman should depart Anfield with little but fond wishes. He may not have been the man to take Liverpool to ‘the next level’ as such, but he worked hard, scored some important goals (and a absolute beauty against Arsenal) and deserves his chance of first team football in the North East.
Comparing his development at Anfield to that of Ryan Babel, who left for around half the £11m Liverpool paid Ajax for him, it is clear to see which was the smarter piece of business.
As for Henderson himself, well at twenty he clearly has plenty of developing to do, but he also has all the raw materials to be a success at Liverpool. Indeed, he displayed as much with a mightily impressive display against Roy Hodgson’s Reds last September in a 2-2 draw at Anfield. He is composed, athletic, energetic and has the ability to cross and pass the ball with consistent quality. Carroll, in particular, will thrive on his early balls into the penalty area, as he did so successfully at Newcastle with Joey Barton.
Nobhead Steve Bruce was desperate to keep Henderson at the Stadium Of Light, which makes this deal a tiny bit sweeter. Both Manchester’s City and United had expressed an interest, but the youngster’s determination to move to Merseyside and link up with Dalglish shows that Liverpool’s pulling power, despite no European football next season, remains undiminished.
Sadly a few fans online have been whinging about us buying snother central midfielder, saying we don’t need another one. I think we do. Jay Spearing deserved the credit he received at the end of last season, but unfortunately there is no way he is the long term solution. I also can’t see us getting a full season out of Stevie Gerrard anymore, so a young lad with plenty to prove will fit in nicely to the squad.
Kenny has an absolutely massive job to do at Liverpool. It is not as if he just has to add one or two players to an already good squad. He has to reshape all of it and this is a great start.
Blackpool’s Charlie Adam (above) remains a possibility for around £8m remains a possibility (his set prices especially would be of huge benefit to us), AS Roma keeper Doni (Doniéber Alexander Marangon to his Mun) looks like becoming José Reina’s back-up, Valencia’s Juan Mata (below) is being linked with us hourly as is Stewart Downing of Aston Villa, plus we’re also keen on Birmingham City’s scouse central defender Scott Dann and Ipswich Town’s young striker Connor Wickham.
All or maybe none will follow the Wearsider over the next couple of months but either way these are exciting times at L4.
The 2011 French Open Men’s Final
Has a game at Roland Garros ever been as anticipated as today’s final between Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal? Certainly not in my life time.
I cannot actually wait for this match. The magnitude of it can’t be overstated; it’s bigger than anything. Devout as I am to football plus my boyhood love of snooker, and affections for Twenty20 cricket, rugby, the Olympics and much more besides nothing, even Liverpool vs. Manchester United, compares to a Federer vs. Nadal match. Seeing the same two sportsmen/women/teams in final after final normally gets tiresome as familiarity breeds contempt but not with these two. Irrelevant of the result it is the most compelling narrative in the world of sport.
Despite the previous history of the Spaniard dominating Federer, and being all over him like a cheap suit at Roland Garros, I am predicting a victory for the Swiss maestro. This year the pressure is more on Nadal - he needs to win to remain World Number One (a defeat means he drops to Two, below Novak Đoković), is trying to equal Björn Borg’s record of six French Opens and despite a great performance against Andy Murray a feeders ago his current up and down form is a worry for him. Given the previous lack of success on the Parisian clay hardly anybody expects, even believes, that Federer could overturn his greatest rival but for those above reasons, I suggest that Nadal has far more pressure and expectations on his shoulders.
If Federer loses everyone will say, “Jolly well done, no big surprise,” but for Nadal… well… it’s his to lose. This could play into the Swiss’ hands - he has a new calmness in his game, as if he’s accepted he is no longer the best player in the game at the moment but is going out there not only to win, but for fun.
I hope I’m right and that, after a five setter to rival their 2008 classic Wimbledon final, Roger Federer will finally beat his great rival at Rolland Garros to claim his second French Open and seventeenth Open. And wouldn’t that just whet the appetite for SW19 in two weeks…
Still laughing.
We are very happy because we played in the way we know how to play. It is very good to win the Champions League for any footballer. Also, Liverpool fans were a little bit sad after my exit so this is for them as well!
And you, David Villa Sánchez, can join in too. Or film. Whatever you like.
And you, Lionel Andrés Messi, can join in when I bugger Pedro.
What a sexy little sod Messi is. And what a lovely goal.
Note: The Scum have had to cheat with an offside Giggs pass to draw level while Barça just play football.
Pedro Eliezer Rodríguez Ledesma if you ever go gay I will happily do you for that goal.
As usual, the English will do the talking and the Spanish will do the playing. I still remember in 2009 when jokes were made in the ITV studio about Messi’s height and the boys enjoyed themselves to it. Terry Venables said “We (United) will win becuse we are dominant in the air. Messi could never score with his head even if they put a hat on it!” Well, Messi scored. With his head.
For me, take Ronaldo and Tevéz (who was on the bench) out of United’s squad from two years ago and they’re weaker straight away. Hernandez redresses the balance slightly, and I suppose they’ve got Fletcher this time who will be an important player in this game. Cheating Giggs, Scholes and Ferdinand are all a couple of years older, and have been looking it recently. On balance, I’d have to say they’re a poorer team than they were in 2009. I don’t think there’s a single area in which Barcelona have not improved however. Valdes is a better keeper now than he was then. Defensively Abidal or Adriano are both better than Sylvinho, Dani Alves is a massive improvement. In midfield Busquets has gone from strength to strength but Mascherano covering for the injured Puyol is a loss. Up front Pedro has also come on massively and is a big improvement on the Thierry Henry Barca had. Messi is even better now than he was and Villa for Eto’o is at worst a straight swap, although for me, Villa fits in with Barca’s style slightly better.
Its stating the obvious but Barca are clear favourites. The media (look at ITV actually comparing Rooney to Messi!!) have been saying how it’s time we saw this Barcelona team challenged, that United are the team to do that, to push them to their limits . That will not happen as, like it or not United fans, the English side are very, very average.
It’s good Paul Scholes isn’t playing (from United’s view) as there is a red card. Can’t see why Carrick is playing, he will be a spectator.
The game, of course, is a one off match which anyone can win. United’s best oportunity will be to get the first goal (and defend for their lives). If its a late goal coming after the hour mark, then they have a great chance, but if Barca should get the opening goal we can call it game over as Villa will be a thorn for vastly overrated Ferdinand, Pedro will keep Evra at bay, while Messi, will put the frights on Vidic all night long.
I had to laugh at ITV’s ‘experts’ saying that the ‘Mancs’ can go and get their fair share of possession. They’re delusional. Or they haven’t watched Barcelona at all this season. If United try to press the Catalonia side they will get torn to shreds and Barca will just play triangles round them. The only chance they have of stopping Barca is to play Park on one side, Valencia on the other with Rooney just off Hernandez - the Mexican have to work off scraps, as that trio will all have to drop very deep to nullify the attacking fullbacks and to make the central area more congested. But yes at set pieces and possibly on the break, they may have a chance, but a very slim chance. The scum’s midfield is going to be vital, and i do think that Barca will control that area, meaning that they will kill United all over the pitch, because Xavi, Iniesta, Busquets, Messi, Pedro and Villa are in a league of their own and with the attacking fullbacks, they have a great out ball.
Anyway, the game is starting. My prediction is for barcelona to run out 3-0 victors. As a late birthday present.
Kyūsoku to rirakuzēshon? Sono yōna un
It’s the beginning of another long weekend which will include a gig, a wedding, the European Cup Final, a bit of Super Mario Galaxy on my new Wii, food shopping, playing hide and seek plus some drawing with my nephew Harry and a very, very cute golden cocker spaniel licking my face.
