After over a decade of rumours, Sega are finally back making new hardware. For toilets. Toylets, a pee-controlled gaming system, is now available to buy for personal use.
Toylets has been doing the rounds in Japanese bars and restaurants for a year or two now, and is basically a fancy urinal with a screen above it. When you pee in it, a sensor picks up the force of your urine and the game on-screen reacts accordingly. Each mini-game (well, they’d have to be) has a different task – one has you trying to wash off graffiti with a hose, while another has you trying to blow up a woman’s skirt. With pee.
I’d love to say I’m joking here but I’m really not, and now Sega is trickling out its service to people’s homes too. You can now own your very own Toylets for 140,000 yen (£1078), with each game costing 10,000 yen (£77). While that may seem like a piddling amount to some wealthy millionaire who’s more than happy to throw their coins at Sega in some sort of golden shower, to us wee folk it’s a bit much. All we can do is lie prostate and hope for Sega to implement some sort of streaming service (sorry, no more wee jokes).
When your company is reduced to making pee games, you know urine trouble. I’ll get my coat…