The How and Why Of Paul Richard Thomas

Announced only early evening yesterday and starting in less than an hour… Nintendo Direct Pre E3 2012. What will be revealed? My guess is the specs, price and release date for the Wii U. Satoru Iwata-san (Nintendo president) did say that the price and release details would not be revealed at E3 after all and doing this would let their main E3 show focus just on the games while also pipping Sony and Microsoft before the show begins. Fifty-four minutes and counting…

Seven years today. Doesn’t seem five minutes…

Michael Inglis, the creator behind the viral Lego Zelda video, has had his dream come one step closer to reality as over 10,000 people have backed his Lego Zelda concept at the official Lego website. Because Inglis has managed to get over 10,000 supporters Lego will have to review the concept and decide if it’s something they would like to do. Of course, they would need to get Nintendo to approve the concept as well but surely they won’t say no to such a guaranteed money maker?

After over a decade of rumours, Sega are finally back making new hardware. For toilets. Toylets, a pee-controlled gaming system, is now available to buy for personal use.

Toylets has been doing the rounds in Japanese bars and restaurants for a year or two now, and is basically a fancy urinal with a screen above it. When you pee in it, a sensor picks up the force of your urine and the game on-screen reacts accordingly. Each mini-game (well, they’d have to be) has a different task – one has you trying to wash off graffiti with a hose, while another has you trying to blow up a woman’s skirt. With pee.

I’d love to say I’m joking here but I’m really not, and now Sega is trickling out its service to people’s homes too. You can now own your very own Toylets for 140,000 yen (£1078), with each game costing 10,000 yen (£77). While that may seem like a piddling amount to some wealthy millionaire who’s more than happy to throw their coins at Sega in some sort of golden shower, to us wee folk it’s a bit much. All we can do is lie prostate and hope for Sega to implement some sort of streaming service (sorry, no more wee jokes).

When your company is reduced to making pee games, you know urine trouble. I’ll get my coat…

Never before released concept art from a Metroid game Retro were either contemplating making or actually making. A huge amount of info regarding the studio and Metroid has recently been found suggesting a possible Metroid II remake and a game set between Prime one and two. The first would be great, especially on the 3DS and with this art style. Unlikely but I shall keep my fingers crossed for something at E3. Perhaps we may finally see Dread…?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Which dickhead thought this numpty would be suitable for England manager? Even better than moron Redknapp getting it. Can not wait for the Euros now to see not only the most overrated side in national football humiliated but this turnip sacked within two months and the press turning on him (something they should have done when he was sacked from Anfield).