The How and Why Of Paul Richard Thomas




Kon'nichiwa. Paul Richard Thomas is a liar and a thief, a supervillain in a world without heroes; a Scarlett Johansson-obsessed man awaiting the bullet or sexual assault he is surely due who, if he had to describe himself in three words (as he often has to), would say: killer alien vagina. Sayōnara





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Oussama Bye-saidi

Oussama Assaidi has left Liverpool for a second year-long loan at Stoke City.

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It’s a shame his wage demands prevented the deal being a temporary one as he is clearly made aware he is no longer needed at Anfield. But at least we can hope he does some good work for us against our rivals like he did last year. Like this stunning last minute winner against Chelsea…

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Why on earth would anybody want Tom Cleverley?

Find it absolutely staggering that we got to almost an hour left of the Transfer Window and clubs were still after Tom Cleverley. 

This guy provides absolutely nothing but negatives a squad he is. What on Earth were Aston Villa, Hull and Everton thinking? He is awful. He can’t possess the ball, pass the ball, see the field, he simply can’t do anything. The moment he touches the ball, he looks like a chicken without a head. A turnover machine. The best thing he can do is pass the ball back to the defenders. It’s like his only interest on a football field is to keep his pass completion rate high seeing as all he does is pass it three yards backwards.

All three clubs have got away with a catastrophe here and should be jumping for joy. Let him rot at United before he goes to a Championship or lower club for the rest of his career… if he’s lucky.

Arsenal are buying Danny Welbeck for £16m. Sixteen million pounds.
Ahahaha. Thank you so much Arsene Wenger. That basically means that, once again, you are aiming for no higher than fourth place.
Lets put that in perspective, you’re paying the same amount of money as we did for Mario Balotelli - a player you passed on. You’re buying someone so shit he is abysmal in the garbage side Manchester United currently have, a player who can’t finish or link up with others. And who, frankly, is utter shite. Sixteen million pounds. Staggering… and hilarious.

Arsenal are buying Danny Welbeck for £16m. Sixteen million pounds.

Ahahaha. Thank you so much Arsene Wenger. That basically means that, once again, you are aiming for no higher than fourth place.

Lets put that in perspective, you’re paying the same amount of money as we did for Mario Balotelli - a player you passed on. You’re buying someone so shit he is abysmal in the garbage side Manchester United currently have, a player who can’t finish or link up with others. And who, frankly, is utter shite. Sixteen million pounds. Staggering… and hilarious.

Fabio Borini will remain a Liverpool player after failing to agree personal terms with Queens Park Rangers. A fee of £12m was agreed but QPR owner Tony Fernandes has just revealed on BBC 5 Live the deal is off because of Borini’s demanding £90,000 a week.

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What a deluded tool Fabio Borini is making himself out to be.

Oh… sweet… Jesus…

Oh… sweet… Jesus…

After going away for a week at The Lakes yesterday felt deathly quiet without my little nephew. So today I decided to take him out shopping and spoil him even more. Plus after everything going on with Kate I didn’t wanna be alone and try and do something stupid again last night but hey ho.

We (well, he) had a McDonald’s nugget Happy Meal lunch; we went and got a balloon sword from Mario halfway through it as we sat outside with his meal; met Iron Man; he pulled down a whole shelf of games in Grainger before cracking the floor in the same shop; went to an old fashioned sweet shop where the floor was full of sweets (Harry took that photo); Harry played a bit of Minecraft on his tippy toes went to the Disney Store looking for a Thumper cuddly you and then he attacked a giant Sully; we went to both Liverpool FC stores and saw at least forty Balotelli shirts, he’s proving rather popular is our new loveable lunatic; heard clubs (Aston Villa and Everton) actually want Tom Cleverly, haha, how I laughed at that; spent far too much money once again in the Lego Store with a little Hallowe’en set, Lego Hobbit on the Vita and a door sign for Harry’s bedroom; bought him his first set of Converse; Harry run through the Williamson Square fountains and got very wet; and, finally, got the train to Old Roan and went and had a Packet Steamer dinner where we also made his door sign set.

A very expensive afternoon but worth it to see his beaming smiley face :)

Get your Coates, you’ve pulled

Sebastian Coates has left Liverpool for Sunderland Athletic on loan.

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The twenty-three-year-old Uruguayn international has played just twenty-four times for the Reds since signing in August 2011, and it comes as no surprise that he leaves Merseyside on transfer deadline day.

This was his sole highlight in his time here. What a cracking goal.

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Not only are Manchester United paying AS Monaco a fee of £12m to loan Radamel Falcao for this season but they are paying him a mind-numbing £346,000 a week. That means in the thirty-nine weeks he will be there he will receive just six thousand pounds short of thirteen and a half million.

Someone’s clearly just heard the news…

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In all seriousness that is just bonkers. Absolutely bonkers. If he drops a fifty pence coin on the floor he will make nearly triple it in the three seconds it takes to bend down, pick it up and stand up.

Have to say it’s rather amusing watching United fans wank themselves stupid over this deal. He was offered to every single big club in the Champions League bar one who all refused, knowing he would be signing for that other club, Real Madrid, next summer. They all baulked at that ridiculous wage they would have to pay.

So step forward Manchester United, a team in dire need of defensive and midfield recruitment. Ignoring those problems they get yet another attacking player. Louis Van Gaal now has a lot of incredible options up front but the rest of the team is just a shambles. They’re betting heavily on getting Champions League football again next season. Going to be very amusing watching what happens when they don’t.

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Gone are the days where people would say United bought the league. How embarrassing it must be to try and buy fourth place…

HNNNGGGHHHHH!!! Can’t wait!

A European release for Persona 5 has yet to be confirmed, though it should be pointed out that both the PS3 and PS4 (which it was today announced it will be released for) are region-free devices and any English-speaking gamers in Europe wishing to play the game will be able to import the US version. Something I shall be doing if it looks like the wait will be redonkulous once more.

Persona 5 protagonist

Premier League 2014/15 round three predictions

Burnley 0 Manchester United 0
Manchester City 3 Stoke City 1
Newcastle United 1 Crystal Palace 1
Queen’s Park Rangers 1 Sunderland Athletic 1
Swansea 3 West Bromwich Albion 0
West Ham United 1 Southampton 3
Everton 1 Chelsea 2
Aston Villa 2 Hull City 1
Tottenham Hotspur 1 Liverpool 3
Leicester City 1 Arsenal 1

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Last week I got six correct predictions with two perfect scores (Everton 2 Arsenal 2 and Sunderland Athletic 1 Manchester United 1).

Overall I’ve had three perfect scores this season - including both Man U games.

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As for Liverpool, I said we’d draw 2-2 but also that I feared City may be desperate to prove a point and make a statement. They did, with a 3-1 win. If we hadn’t collapsed in the 40’-70’ area who knows what would have happened. Oh well.

One correct prediction, no perfect score, one wrong prediction.

Low Barrows Green, a house and some land in Sedgwick, is the location of this photo. So why have I taken it and put it on here? As according to my Moo-ma’s sat nav it apparently the Asda in Kendal. 

"You have reached your destination," the sat nav told us. "Pants on fire!" shouted Harry at it.

Low Barrows Green, a house and some land in Sedgwick, is the location of this photo. So why have I taken it and put it on here? As according to my Moo-ma’s sat nav it apparently the Asda in Kendal.

"You have reached your destination," the sat nav told us. "Pants on fire!" shouted Harry at it.

Platinum 63 - The Lego Movie Videogame (Vita)

On the Vita The Lego Movie Videogame manages to ride the charm of its hilarious source material, yet still reeks of movie tie-in-itis. The bite-sized chunks of gameplay make the overall experience feel less like a grand Lego adventure and more like a series of mini-games and puzzles crammed into where the story should be. There’s still a lot of fun to be had in wanton destruction and problem-solving, but this trip into Lego Land feels too rushed to be awesome.

PSN IDRastamadeus - feel free to add me n_n

The Truth

Is always heartbreaking. I’m sorry.

Can’t stop laughing about the Manchester United defeat. 4-0 to MK Dons. Hahahahaha. Sack of shite. Then you remember they today broke the British transfer record with the purchase of Angel Di Maria (an utter diving shit so he’ll easily fit in) who is a player they simply do not need. Priceless.

I’m not a big fan of Twitter in all honesty but saw these amusing bits regarding the hilarity that refuses to leave the scum.

MK Dons 4 Manchester United 0

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After the disappointment of the match last night against Manchester City thank God for their city neighbours United! Nothing pleases football fans more than a Cupset and there hasn’t been one bigger than this in decades.

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The manner of the performance from Manchester United in this second round Capital One Cup game has been staggering in its ineptitude. You’ve got to give credit to MK Dons, they had a job and they did it perfectly and, to be honest, they absolutely dominated the game. Manchester United - with a side full of international and players billed as the future of the club - were so poor it beggared belief.

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You could see by the end of it United just wanted to get off the pitch. MK Dons were sensational and did everything you could ask of them.

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Louis van Gaal contributed by playing people out of position and a system that didn’t suit them. They didn’t know what they were doing, didn’t know what they’re playing. The players aren’t that bad but they don’t understand the system they’re playing in.

The way he kept MK Dons manager Karl Robinson waiting as he signed autographs (you’ve lost 4-0 dickhead!)  also said absolutely everything you need to know about LVG: me, me, me. Robinson though was more than happy to wait, a staunch Liverpool fan who was a coach there for years, he admitted this night will stay with him forever.

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In less than fifty days, United’s caught-in-the-headlights manager has completed the bruising tumble from a World Cup semi-final in the concrete jungle of São Paulo to a public humiliation amid the concrete cows of Milton Keynes.

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Not that the home fans cared, they were enjoying watching the United players leave the pitch, crowing “you’re not famous any more.” Not only that but they are not frightening any more, not organised any more, not confident any more and are certainly not in the Capital One Cup any more. They are out before Liverpool are even in. Keep it up guys, it’s comedy gold.

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