The How and Why Of Paul Richard Thomas




Kon'nichiwa. Paul Richard Thomas is a liar and a thief, a supervillain in a world without heroes; a Scarlett Johansson-obsessed man awaiting the bullet or sexual assault he is surely due who, if he had to describe himself in three words (as he often has to), would say: killer alien vagina. Sayōnara





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Oh, would you fancy that? Ex-footballers on BBC 5Live’s 606 phone-in are discussing with Liverpool fans about how Steven Gerrard is a pale shadow of his former self, how he looks uninterested, his body language is horrific and he is woefully out of form. Yet apparently I’m the only one who thinks that and I’m not a real fan. Amazing how little you see with your eyes closed…

Few thoughts about Man City vs. Chelsea
  • Seems Jose Mourinho was lying. There’s a shock, eh? His team aren’t all about attack but parking the bus. The amount of incredible attacking players they have yet this miserable, uncharismatic tosser is determined to bore the opposition and his own fans to death.
  • Frank Lampard scoring was probably the most predictable thing to happen all weekend, even more than everyone breathing. Mourinho clearly forgot Lampard has keys to the bus his ex-boss had parked!

  • Sublime for a half against Burnley but if you want evidence why Barcelona sold Cesc Fàbregas then this game showed why. Total passenger when it matters most.
  • Yaya Touré has clearly been denied cake all season as he’s been garbage. He wouldn’t look out of place in our (Liverpool’s) midfield at the moment!
  • All well and good playing defensive, negative football Chelsea but the defence needs to be airtight, something yours isn’t. It’s noway near as bad as ours, United’s or Arsenal’s but scoring against them doesn’t seem difficult this season. Especially if you attack with pace.
Can always rely on Manchester United

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After our horrific shambles against West Ham yesterday and the impending disaster of next weekends Merseyside Derby I thought nothing would cheer me up, football-wise. But then I remembered Manchester United hadn’t played yet.

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Three-one up and then letting in four in twenty minutes, losing from a two-goal lead for the first time ever in the Premier League, a team so unbalanced they’re falling over in the box more than ever and a defence so staggeringly shit that they make ours and Arsenal’s look superb.

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Thanks LVG, keep up the good work. Still fully expect this egotistical berk (with a shit haircut!) to be gone “amicably” before the end of next May.

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And as I write this Everton are self-imploding at home to Crystal Palace. Maybe the Derby won’t be so bad after all…?

A solitary plane flew above the Ethiad moments before kick-off in the Man City v Chelsea game. Said plane was accompanied by a banner mocking Manchester United. Something that is always encouraged around these parts.

Stay classy Manchester United fans.

"Fuck you Mario you stupid nigger. Got (sic) eat some bananas and get ebola you dirty monkey” said one fan at the handle @CraigSainsbury which, surprisingly, has subsequently been closed.

Ooh, hello. What’s this about then?
Posted just a few minutes ago on Thom Yorke’s Tumblr is this mysterious white vinyl on a turntable, with clear Stanley Donwood art on it and behind the player. And Nigel Godrich has only gone and Tweeted a link to it as well. Intriguing…
Most of the members of Radiohead have been busy lately with solo endeavors - but we learned over the summer that the band was planning to reconvene and record in September. And guess what month it is?
The internet is already going into a tizzy and while there’s no actual info in that image, the record sleeve is clearly indicating Atoms For Peace, which could certainly be exciting.
But we could also be looking at some new Radiohead, which would be something else on the excitement scale. Hopefully, we’ll find out soon enough.

Ooh, hello. What’s this about then?

Posted just a few minutes ago on Thom Yorke’s Tumblr is this mysterious white vinyl on a turntable, with clear Stanley Donwood art on it and behind the player. And Nigel Godrich has only gone and Tweeted a link to it as well. Intriguing…

Most of the members of Radiohead have been busy lately with solo endeavors - but we learned over the summer that the band was planning to reconvene and record in September. And guess what month it is?

The internet is already going into a tizzy and while there’s no actual info in that image, the record sleeve is clearly indicating Atoms For Peace, which could certainly be exciting.

But we could also be looking at some new Radiohead, which would be something else on the excitement scale. Hopefully, we’ll find out soon enough.

A complete (and disgusting) shambles

The odd bad result you can accept but the lethargic, soulless and seemingly not giving a shit attitude of too many Liverpool players this season is disgusting. The goalkeeper, three centre backs, Gerrard and Lucas should be ashamed of themselves. Borini, although shite, at least tried. The only players who can genuinely be satisfied of giving it all were Baltotelli, Sterling, Lallana and Moreno. Everyone else shouldn’t get paid. That simple.

Brendan needs to act fast as with Everton next weekend and Chelsea and Real Madrid on the horizon we are in real danger of capitulating before Hallowe’en. For the first time since Christmas 2012 he has major, major work to do.

2-1

COME ON!

Thrice made a mug by Stewart Downing - Stewart fucking Downing!! - and then gives the ball away in the build up to West Ham’s second goal in just seven minutes. The Gerrard lovers can give me as much bile as they want, at the moment he isn’t right for our team. Him and Lucas need to be substituted immediately - too slow, too lethargic and most shockingly of all they don’t seem like they give a shit.

A few years ago in this situation our captain would step up and make the difference. If he’s still the player he was he will show it and I will happily eat my words. But I won’t have to.

It’s the Merseyside Derby next week and I am genuinely terrified at what Everton will do to us.

After seeing West Ham attack with pace and ingenuity against Hull I got worried about our midfield for this game. Now our teams been announced I’m even more worried. Gerrard *and* Lucas? Let’s hope the defence holds up and our strikers (last chance for Borini today you must fear) are in the mood.

After seeing West Ham attack with pace and ingenuity against Hull I got worried about our midfield for this game. Now our teams been announced I’m even more worried. Gerrard *and* Lucas? Let’s hope the defence holds up and our strikers (last chance for Borini today you must fear) are in the mood.

Premier League 2014/15 round five predictions

Queen’s Park Rangers 1 Stoke City 2
Aston Villa 1 Arsenal 1
Burnley 1 Sunderland Athletic 1
Newcastle United 0 Hull City 1
Swansea 1 Southampton 2
West Ham United 1 Liverpool 0 (a midfield of Gerrard and Lucas will capitulate)

Leicester City 2 Manchester United 1 (United are shite, simple as)
Tottenham Hotspur 0 West Bromwich Albion 0
Everton 0 Crystal Palace 1
Manchester City 0 Chelsea 1 (sadly)

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Last week I got eight correct predictions with four perfect scores (Arsenal 2 Man City 2; Crystal Palace 0 Burnley 0; Stoke 0 Leicester 1; and WBA 0 Everton 2). Overall I’ve had twelve perfect scores this season.

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As for Liverpool well I got it massively wrong. I thought if we played a diamond in midfield with Raheem Sterling at the top supporting a front two we’d have way too much for Aston Villa and get a 3-1 win. Sadly we didn’t bother going with an attacking intent and looked uninterested, disjointed and deservedly lost.

Sadly I can see West Ham beating us as our midfield will have to consist of Gerrard and Lucas (with Allen out) and neither of them are good enough at the moment. Together I fear we will be run ragged and lose our third game in five.

I hope I’m as good a father one day as Lee Mack.

What a farce Euro 2020 will be

UEFA have decided to spread out Euro 2020 over twelve different countries as a way of celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. According to UEFA president and all round bellend Michel Platini the idea is “romantic.” No, arsehole, it is a massive fuck up.

Both St. Petersburg in Russia and Baku in Azerbaijan are hosting quarter-finals before, four days later, semi-finals kick off in Wembley, London. All well and good for the UEFA bigwigs with more money than sense but how are us footballer supporters meant to follow our sides from one end of Europe to the other when prices always rise astronomically during this sort of competition?

Absolutely pathetic and more proof of how clueless, inept and scummy the people who run football are.

Anonymous asked: favourite game on each console you've ever owned?

Oh dear Sweet Jesus. This will be a long list…

  • ZX Spectrum - Manic Miner
  • Mega DriveSonic the Hedgehog 2
  • Nintendo Entertainment SystemSuper Mario Bros.
  • Game BoyPokémon Red/Blue
  • Game GearSonic the Hedgehog: Triple Trouble
  • Mega CD -Snatcher
  • Super Nintendo Entertainment SystemDonkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest
  • PCHalf-Life
  • Mega Drive 32X - Virtua Racing Deluxe
  • Sega SaturnBurning Rangers
  • Game Boy ColorThe Legend Of Zelda: Link’s Awakening DX
  • Nintendo 64 - Super Mario 64
  • PlayStationFinal Fantasy IX
  • DreamcastBangai-O
  • PlayStation 2Devil May Cry
  • WonderSwan ColorRhyme Rider Kerorican
  • GameCubeMetroid Prime or The Legend Of Zelda: Wind Waker (can’t pick between them - both are sensational)
  • Game Boy AdvanceMetroid Fusion
  • WiiSuper Mario Galaxy 2 (best game of all time)
  • DSNew Super Mario Bros.
  • PlayStation 3Red Dead Redemption or Borderlands 2
  • 3DSTheatrhythm Final Fantasy
  • PlayStation VitaHatsune Miku: Project DIVA F
  • PlayStation 4 - nothing so far

God I’ve had a lot of consoles! Whoever you are Mr. Anonymous, that was a bastard of a question.

Looks, "Back To the Fire" - London synth-pop trio Looks return with a second single and it’s a soaring (their first single was called “Everest” - God I’m funny), sticky statement of intent. Summer may be on it’s last legs but this Friendly Fire’s tropical pop-like song will keep you warm well into winter.








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